Before going to bed last night, Che and I were chatting during our cuddling and 'harutan' session. It started with some cheesy questions like 'Why did you fall in love with me?'. This is one of the questions that we normally ask each other because we basically do not have a consistent or straight answer. We usually answer back with a joke instead like 'Di naman talaga eh, pinikot mo lang ako' or 'Mahilig talaga ako sa mga maasim na pagkain'. That's how often we use humor in our relationship.
One thing that led to a serious talk was when Che asked me, 'Are you excited?' (referring to the birth of our twins). I immediately answered back ,'I am actually scared'. There's a fear that I won't be able to take care of the twins. Could I manage breastfeeding two babies? Who will take care of them when I return to work?
I asked him back 'And you?'. He replied saying the same thing. But Che's fear was more on not being able to sell (he is in car sales) and unable to provide to the needs of the twins/our family. He said this is the reason why he is working his ass off. He even work during weekends and holidays. I asked him to take it easy as we are fortunate to both have work that compensate well enough for our needs and wants. But he's never like that. He would never depend on anyone, even on me. Ever since, Che has always been a VERY responsible person. He is a good provider and never misses out on his obligation. He made quite a lot of sacrifces and you won't hear him complain. He return his blessings thru helping out other people that he never dare brag about. And that, I could honestly say, was one of the reasons why I do fell in love with him.
As parents, will this fear fade away? Maybe not. But I do hope that this fear will be one of the greatest motivator for us to be good parents.
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